you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
