I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
there is puke in my bra ... again
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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