weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize