It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
