just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize