My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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