Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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