I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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