Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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