I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
