sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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