i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
