If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
