i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
