The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
