the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
