Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
