i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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