if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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