singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
