I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
