You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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