I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
