so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
