plz talk dirty to me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
