Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
this is an emotional support booty call
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
