let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
