As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
