Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
