Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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