He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
