I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
