some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
