Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
