kristin has been a bad kristin
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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