Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
