I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
