In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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