Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
