Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
