He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize