I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He has the fingertips of a God
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