try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
someone owes me an orgasm
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
