whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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