Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
