Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
