where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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