She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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