This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
not ubering you a puppy
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
