mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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