Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Randomize
