We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
