____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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