Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We don't watch enough power rangers
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
