I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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