2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize