Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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