I'm really into asian looking animals
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
