After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
