I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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