but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
