the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
3pm strippers are depressing
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
