I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
