Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
why is half of my head shaved?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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