the condom got lost in my hair
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
