I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
