just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
