wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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