Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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