Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
