I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
