Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Randomize
