he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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