Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
