I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
