I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize