went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm bleeding and have questions
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
