just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
