apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
