Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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